Obsolescence of the Soul
She
chipped away at her nail polish, wishing she hadn’t shown up to the diner.
“Come on, Jo, you have to eat,” he
placed his finger under her chin, lifting her face to
look her in the eyes.
Jocelyn
shook free from his grasp, “You know I can’t, Olly.”
She
looked out the window, watching the traffic. The rain was falling, and she was
still wet from the walk to the diner.
Looking
back at Oliver, she felt her heart drop. His hands were in his lap, and he had
been staring out the window, too. What’s
going on in that mind? She knew why he had asked to meet her at the diner –
it was all in his plan to get her to eat again. After all, she hadn’t had a
bite for two days.
“Please, Jo,” his voice was wavering,
“for me?”
His
dark, brown eyes penetrated through her and she felt a pang of guilt. Why did I come here? She knew she wasn’t
going to eat and that was torture for Oliver.
“You can’t survive on an apple every
few days, Jo,” he grabbed her hand, exposing the
mountain of chipped nail polish on
the table.
“I know, Olly. I can’t help it,” she
sighed.
“Look, I know you just got out of
the hospital, but you need to take this seriously. There
are serious risks of continuing
this-” she was starting to zone out.
She
caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror behind Oliver. The dark
circles forming under eyes her made her face look gaunt, but she couldn’t see
that. Nor could she see the bones protruding like statues from her shoulders, or
the dark, patchy bruises that littered her body. She was malnourished, but she
saw nothing but fat. She longed to be thin, and she wouldn’t stop until she liked
the way she looked.
“Jo, I just really -” his voice began
to fade as her vision got fuzzy.
There
was a faint buzzing in her ears and she couldn’t figure out where it was coming
from. It was similar to the low hum of the lights at the hospital. Everything
was getting dark, and her eyes focused in on Oliver. He was reaching out to
her, but he was moving sideways. She realized what was happening; she closed
her eyes as her head hit the floor. There was a sharp pain, but it disappeared quickly.
She gave in to the overwhelming sensation of total darkness. Sleep, blissful sleep.
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